Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Daily Eye Candy: A mistake

I'm a girl that likes nice things. I don't actually own any of them, but I like to think that if I earned a great deal of money (I don't) and wouldn't destroy nice things accidentally upon first touch (I would), that I might have some nice things. It doesn't hurt to look, though!

Today I peeked at the handbags on My credit score only allows me to peek, you understand. Not to look, or - gasp - even to dare gaze. Peeking was a mistake. The bags are gorgeous, with price tags to match. Observe:

Von Furstenberg Black/White Suede Bucket Tote, $775. I adoooore this pattern, but it is more than my mortgage. Seriously.
Marc Jacobs Natasha Espresso Leather Shoulder Bag, $390. The little gold birds! How adorable is this bag?
Seriously, this isn't even a bag. It's a tiny wallet. A Mulberry Holly Slim Zip Black Wallet, to be exact. For $460. But isn't the tree cuuuuuute? Yes, however, if I'm going to spend almost $500 on a clutch, it had better come encrusted with diamonds and some kind of butler service.
This isn't even really a bag. It's a shopper. So you can carry it around and buy more things! Consumerism! Yeay! It is a Marc Jacobs Miss Marc Black Packables Shopper, $65. The cheapest item on this list, and sassy to boot. But...y'alls know you can get yerself a shopper for, like, a buck at Teh Wal Marts, dontcha?
Say it with me. Vah-lehn-teen-o. Chocolate Crocodile Leather Bag, $14,070. I promise I didn't make up that price. I didn't pay that much for the brand new car that I traded in for. Not even close. I wonder how many starving African orphans the cost of that one, single, lone little bag could feed. Let us ponder.
In all honesty, I would never want a $14,000 bag. I would never want a $400 bag. I could never take it out in public. And what's the use of sitting at home on a Friday night, stroking the gorgeous crocodile leather, gazing wistfully out the barred window. You know, at the peasants. No good at all, I tells ya!

But I can still peek and love from afar.

Uhmmm...if you don't mind, now I'm going go to drown in my own envy drool, thankyouverymuch.

Monday, September 26, 2011

A groomsmaid* at a bachelorette party

Although I will be standing on my dear friend Philboy's side during his wedding this coming Saturday, his beautiful and sweet fiancee included me with her bridesmaids this weekend during her bachelorette party. We painted pottery, ate a fabulous meal, and then debauched. It was a glorious evening.
If you've never had a girl's event at a pottery painting place, I highly recommend it. Everyone gets to do their own piece, and you end up with something to remember the event by.
*Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?* that was me singing. I cannot wait to see her in wedding regalia!
Both mommies attended the painting and eating portions of the evening (and debarked before the debauch).
Speaking of mommies, I made this for my mommy! I hope it turns out well after firing!
Thanks to the gals for including me! Especially that hottie in the middle!

*Husband pointed out that I'm actually a groomsmatron, which I detest. I need to be ten years older and have several more chins before I will call myself a matron, thankyouverymuch.

Daily Eye Candy

I've been on a Wicked kick lately, listening to the soundtrack whenever I'm in the kitchen washing dishes or in the car driving alone or working out in my living room (with the workout tape on low, to drown out the She-Devil, Jillian Michaels).

I purchased this "Popular" shirt for sistercousin (who took me to see the touring musical in our Big City for my birthday), and it's just the cutest thing.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Daily Eye Candy

On Sunday, I went on a pilgrimage to Mecca.

For me, Mecca is DSW.

It was a religious experience.

I needed to purchase a new pair of black heels for a wedding I am in next weekend.

Well, I'm using the word "need" loosely here. I'd bought a new black dress to wear in the wedding, which I "needed," so surely I also "needed" a new pair of shoes to go with the new frock.

Ah, consumerism. I shall avert my eyes in attrition.

My sistercousin, who has an interesting taste in shoes (I'm using the word "interesting" here in a positive manner), helped me pick out a pair that I might have otherwise glanced over. They were black satin with an asymmetrically cut sequined feature on the toes. The heel doesn't look that high in the picture, but I felt a bit like a newborn fawn as I wobbled up and down the aisles of the store. But it was undeniable; on my feet, they were pretty darn cute.

If I fall flat on my face while walking down the aisle next Saturday, please focus on the way the light strikes the sequins and how the heels highlight my calves when my dress goes over my head.

Your cooperation is appreciated.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday Fashion: A Bigger Chill in the Air

So, I might have lied yesterday. I think I would rather skip along a tree-lined road, enjoying the crisp weather, wearing this jacket.

Or this jacket.

Or even this jacket.

Head go 'splody from adorable outerwear. Must now lie down.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Daily Eye Candy: A chill in the air

Today is the first day that I have felt a serious fall chill in the air.

And it's wonderful.

I wish I could skip along a tree-lined road, enjoying the crisp weather, wearing this cape.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


On a less solemn note, we spent the weekend engaged in the most American of activities: killin' and shootin'.

Okay, well, not so much with the killin'. Husband and I went fishing with my Dad, but we just did catch and release. We'd only made it to our fishing hole one other time this summer, so it was nice to spend another day on the pond with my two favorite men in the whole wide world! While Dad and I caught several bluegill and sunfish, Husband couldn't cast and reel fast enough (he even caught a largemouth bass, the only one of the day)! It was only his third time fishing in his entire life, and I swear he could have caught a fish that day without any bait on his hook! I'm contemplating divorce. I just cannot stomach being married to a better fisherman than myself. What would that fall under? Irreconcilable differences?

The following day, we spent the afternoon with one of our favorite couple friends at a gun range in The Big City. It was the same gun range that I'd taken half of the favorite couple for her bachelorette party several months ago. Husband brought his 9mm, which I tried for the first time. I also had the opportunity to shoot some stranger's gun when he randomly handed it to me. I think it was because I was wearing an unfortunately low-cut shirt, and hot bullet casings kept flying down my cleavage. The little dance I had to do to get the hot metal away from my delicate lady bits must have been quite enticing. I'll be honest, I felt a little strange handling another man's piece, and I wasn't sure how long I should touch it, but I held it steady and emptied the cartridge.

Have I been sufficiently innuendous? (No, I don't think "innuendous" is a word, but it should be.)

Could that perhaps be Husband's reason for divorce? Irretrievable breakdown?

Oh, dear.

God bless 'MERICA.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

On this day in history...

...ten years ago, I had just begun the tenth grade a few weeks prior. During the passing period after the first class of the day, I noticed a flurry of activity and harried voices surrounding me. I asked a classmate what was going on as she scurried down the hall.

"Our country's at war!" she exclaimed.

I looked around, dumbstruck and confused, without any comprehension of the words she had just uttered. I turned back to ask her, "What do you mean?" but she was already gone.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Friday Fashion: One for One

Tom's has expanded from shoes to eyewear. They maintain their slogan, "One for One," and for each pair of glasses purchased, Toms will provide either medical treatment or prescription eyeglasses or sight-saving surgery for someone in need.

I've heard cynics complaining about Toms customers, asking, "Why don't they just donate money directly to the cause? Damn hippies/yuppies/[insert pejorative term here]." I disagree. I think Toms is doing wonderful work. If you need a new pair of shoes or want a pair of sunglasses and are going to buy a pair one way or the other, why not purchase from Toms and help others out while you're at it? My life is all about multitasking, and I appreciate companies that feel the same.

Numerous color options are available in three distinctive, classic styles:

Classic 101: Or, as I would call them, the "Tom Cruise in Risky Business Sunglasses"
Classic 201: Or, as I would call them, the "Audrey Hepburn in anything Sunglasses (sorry, Tom, this look isn't for you, apparently)"
Classic 301: Or, as I would call them, the "Tom Cruise in Top Gun Sunglasses"

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Daily Eye Candy

I love this teal cross front dress from Dorothy Perkins! And another perk (ha, see what I did there?)? It's only $28! I know, right?!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Fashion: Landscaping

Thanks to my recent motivation, we received an estimate from our landscaper today. We have to finish staining our porch before the plants can go in, but here's a little taste of what we might expect! So excited! :)
Links from here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.