I'm a girl that likes nice things. I don't actually own any of them, but I like to think that if I earned a great deal of money (I don't) and wouldn't destroy nice things accidentally upon first touch (I would), that I might have some nice things. It doesn't hurt to look, though!
Today I peeked at the handbags on Stylebop.com. My credit score only allows me to peek, you understand. Not to look, or - gasp - even to dare gaze. Peeking was a mistake. The bags are gorgeous, with price tags to match. Observe:
Von Furstenberg Black/White Suede Bucket Tote, $775. I adoooore this pattern, but it is more than my mortgage. Seriously.
Marc Jacobs Natasha Espresso Leather Shoulder Bag, $390. The little gold birds! How adorable is this bag?
Seriously, this isn't even a bag. It's a tiny wallet. A Mulberry Holly Slim Zip Black Wallet, to be exact. For $460. But isn't the tree cuuuuuute? Yes, however, if I'm going to spend almost $500 on a clutch, it had better come encrusted with diamonds and some kind of butler service.
This isn't even really a bag. It's a shopper. So you can carry it around and buy more things! Consumerism! Yeay! It is a Marc Jacobs Miss Marc Black Packables Shopper, $65. The cheapest item on this list, and sassy to boot. But...y'alls know you can get yerself a shopper for, like, a buck at Teh Wal Marts, dontcha?
Say it with me. Vah-lehn-teen-o. Chocolate Crocodile Leather Bag, $14,070. I promise I didn't make up that price. I didn't pay that much for the brand new car that I traded in for. Not even close. I wonder how many starving African orphans the cost of that one, single, lone little bag could feed. Let us ponder.
In all honesty, I would never want a $14,000 bag. I would never want a $400 bag. I could never take it out in public. And what's the use of sitting at home on a Friday night, stroking the gorgeous crocodile leather, gazing wistfully out the barred window. You know, at the peasants. No good at all, I tells ya!
But I can still peek and love from afar.
Uhmmm...if you don't mind, now I'm going go to drown in my own envy drool, thankyouverymuch.