Opposites Attract

I know this may come as a shock, but I am a very shy person.

I maintain that I really can't help my introversion; I was just born that way. My mother often recalls instances during my early childhood when, upon being confronted with someone I was not closely familiar, I would squeeze my eyes shut tight until the stranger went away (or tricked me by not speaking until I peeked out from under my lids and realized the menace was still at arm's length).

It's funny how people rarely evolve past the personalities they exhibited while still in diapers. I no longer shut my eyes when forced to speak with someone that makes me uncomfortable, but my discomfort is probably still quite evident to the person I'm required to communicate with.

It's something I continue to work on; engaging another human being in conversation can be a great pleasure, but I don't know if I will ever enjoy the endless cocktail hours or receptions when a social butterfly mentality is demanded. Often, in social situations, I play 'possum, standing quietly (and usually awkwardly) while another member of the group drives the conversation. For me, it takes an incredible amount of energy to force conversation with someone whom I am not well acquainted, and I am often left drained.

Lately, I've been noticing and hearing about friends and acquaintances' relationship dynamics. In many of the couplings I've witnessed, there seems to be a definite dominant personality (applying, of course, strictly to the public sector). That certainly applies to the relationship of Husband and me, as well as numerous sets of couples we see often. My own parents are also a model of this dynamic. My mother is overjoyed to talk to anyone, anywhere, while my father would much prefer to be left alone altogether. Like my father, I would much rather sit in some shadowy corner and observe instead of engaging in conversation (for him, this attitude even applies to extended family functions, where he sits for the entire time on the dimly lit couch furthest away from the boisterous horde of relatives).

I'm sure my quietness often comes off as snobbish or disinterested, which is extremely unfortunate. Once I get to know someone well and become quite comfortable in their presence (which can take a terribly long time), I like to think another side of my personality emerges: someone who looks forward to the interaction, speaks with ease, and enjoys the time spent together. It's just the "getting to know you" stage that I dread.

As I said, Husband is my complete opposite. As much of an introvert as I am, he can be equally extroverted. I envy the ease with which he enamors to new acquaintances, makes friends, and causes complete strangers to laugh. He disagrees with my rather idyllic view, but I firmly believe that it is impossible not to like him, at least while he's charming you (and he is rarely not "on"). Of course, I'm a little biased. He is all of the good things I am not, and I am so glad our opposite personalities attracted in this instance. It has really worked out for the best. People can shine the spotlight on him all they want. I'm happy watching from the shadows.