Do Not Watch

Husband and I recently got a subscription to Netflix, and we are loving it. We currently have the basic package and are able to receive one movie at a time. We may upgrade later (we aren't planning to have cable television when we finally get into our own home, thus necessitating movie entertainment), but the situation suits our needs for now. Even better, with subscriptions Netflix also offers movie streaming (I guess that's the right word...) through Husband's Xbox for certain titles, so as long as the movie is in our online queue, we can watch it whenever we want. I took full advantage of this opportunity by watching the Newsies, a rousing musical about paperboys with thick New York accents from the Pulitzer/Hearst muckraking days. What more could a person ask for in a musical? Oh yeah, did I forget to mention a young, verile, singing, dancing, prancing Christian Bale? You are "The King of New York," Christian. Oh, yes, you are.

A few days later our copy of Be Kind, Rewind dropped into our mailbox. Husband and I haven't turned off a movie since watching Sideways while students at Dinky College. Until now, that is. Jack Black's characters tend to be a little over-the-top, but are generally funny and loveable. Not so in Be Kind, Rewind. The plot was shoddy, the dialogue was unintelligible, the characters were off-putting, and the whole thing was generally confusing, unrealistic, and annoying. The movie stock of a down-and-out video store (that only stocks VHS tapes...which I find to be implausible) is erased when a magnetized Jack Black walks in (after being electrocuted...is that even possible?), so the bumbling characters played by Black and Mos Def must remake all the movies before the kindly old owner, played by Danny Glover, returns from a trip celebrating a great jazz legend. It really was as horrible as it sounds. At least the first twenty minutes or so. We didn't make it too far past that. I suggest you don't even make it to the video store to rent the drivel.