On Babies and Teh Future

So, about two months ago we had a pregnancy scare. I don't even know why I would label it a "scare" - we've been married for over two years now and both have stable jobs as well as relatively normal mental states - except that I was filled with utter terror. It was only a day-long period (ha) of uncertainty, but that was The Longest Night Day of Andy's KittyMarie's Life (name that movie). Just that one day sent me into a wide-eyed, hyperventilating tailspin. You see, I demand my body run like a well-oiled Timex. And I will admit I squealed a little bit with delight when I found I had once again "fallen to the Communists" (name that TV show). I'm sure that's more than you ever wanted to know about me. Awkward. Moving on.

This incident led to asking Big, Serious Questions during a Big, Serious, Impromptu Marital Discussion over dinner one evening. What do we want to accomplish as a couple before a human being springs from my loins? What do we want to accomplish individually before our lives are no longer ours alone? What is our time line? How many miniature clones do we ultimately want to create? How would we make it work logistically, physically, emotionally? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Providentially, Amalah posted a Pre-Baby Bucket List on her Advice Smackdown. Amalah is one of my favorite mommybloggers (on second thought...maybe I am ready for a baby...I religiously follow several mommyblogs for Pete's sake).

The Bucket List was a great post, and it reflected a number of things we want to do/enjoy before procreating. Additionally, we want to spend time together, enjoying one another's company. We want to visit a foreign country. We want to get another four-door, baby-friendly car. We want to figure out what we plan to do professionally. We want to move into our own damn house already (so, some of our goals are a little more attainable than others...).

And in a very small voice, in a very closeted portion of my heart that doesn't want to acknowledge the facts of life right now, I just want to give my father a grandchild to enjoy. The rest will remain unwritten.