Southern California, the loins of America from which our best and brightest spring forth,* has banned dictionaries.
Let me just write that one more time.
Dictionaries. Merriam Webster's 10th edition, to be exact.
Why? Are you sure you really want to know? Because I don't think you do.
Okay, just don't say I didn't warn you.
The dictionary ban is due to a definition (after all, what dictionaries do best) of the phrase "oral sex."
The parents opposed think the definition is too graphic. May I ask how one defines "oral sex" without describing what it is? The definition provided by Merriam Webster is straightforward and honest. It is a legitimate phrase in a reference text. See, reference texts are what some people turn to when they need to learn more information about something they are unfamiliar with. Even ten-year-olds, the likes of which have probably heard worse from dear old mom and dad.
Of course, educating one's own children on the cusp of puberty would be just the worse thing a parent could do. Having an open and honest conversation can never be a good thing. Hurry! Burn the books, hide the DVDs, cancel the Internet service, and forget sex-ed. The little cherubs need to be protected forever and ever.**
I am not saying that looking out for children's well-being is wrong. But banning dictionaries? Damming the flow of information? Discouraging research and curiosity? That is wrong.
Very, very wrong.
* This is sarcasm.
** This is also sarcasm. Just so you know. Oh, and also? I hate people.