Monday, November 10, 2008

Deck the Bloody Halls

This weekend Husband and I spent Friday evening dining with friends and family and then wandering around The Biggest City Within 50 Miles trying to fill the hours before we met a fellow Dinky College alum and his sister who were in town for a wedding. We visited the local mall, Best Buy, and Barnes and Noble, and I noticed something very disconcerting.

Christmas. Is. Upon. Us. At least according to the commercial powers that be.

Although Santa wasn't yet sitting on his throne in the middle of the mall, the entire joint was already extensively decorated. As we meandered into other stores, there were even jaunty carols being piped out of the loudspeakers.

Already.

May I take this moment to remind everyone that there are still seventeen days BEFORE Thanksgiving. If I haven't yet eaten my weight in slabs of turkey and pillows of mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce shaped like a tin can, I don't even want to think about Christmas.

I understand that the sale projections for the Christmas season are grim and so the stores are trying to jump start consumer spending (although putting a price on Christmas is quite disgusting), but forcing me into the Christmas spirit more than a fortnight before I even have to be in the Thanksgiving spirit is just cruel. By the time Christmas actually arrives, the shimmering lights have becoming blinding, the sharp scents of pine and cinnamon offend my olfactory senses, and the merry carols nauseate me. I get Christmas'ed out and seriously begin contemplating buying gifts in July and hibernating until the eve of December 25.

As I chatted about this matter with a dear friend who does not celebrate Christmas traditionally with the giving of gifts, this beautiful lady (beautiful both inside and out, and, by inside, I do mean the inside of her bra) said, "My main thing is...you know I love you. I should tell you more than just one day a year." Although I probably won't ever celebrate Christmas without the giving of gifts, I heartily agree with her. So, know today that I love you. Know that tomorrow I love you. And if I don't seem to be in the Christmas spirit come the 25th, know that it's only because I'm busy throwing up after hearing "Deck the Halls" for the billiondy-ith time this year.

3 comments:

Diosthocles said...

projections might be down but people are still shopping as much as they were before, if not more. I don't think anyone realizes we are close to or are in a recession therefore the spending of money people don't have will continue. There's a slight possibility of another stimulus check before years end so maybe Christmas will be on uncle Sam's/our tax money for once.

As far as holiday jingles go, try working retail and listening to them starting a week before thanksgiving all the way through Christmas eve for 40 hours a week and THEN get back with me.

KittyMarie said...

HAHAHAHA Touche. I feel for you!

blind irish pirate said...

Amen. Birt and I were off buying post-Halloween sales candy November 1st.

It. Was. Horrible. HORRIBLE.