Friday, May 1, 2009

Friday Fashion

Last night we went to the local piano bar, and I got a firsthand look at all of the young, bouncy coeds in their ridiculously tight/lowcut/vagina hanging out cocktail dresses. Seriously, people. This is Indiana. You're not impressing anyone. However, their inappropriately sexy couture did make me feel spectacularly bad about my chunky, schlumpy self, so here is some Friday Fashion for you, all of which are beautiful and all of which would make my ass look like...something large and unappealing...sorry, I'm fresh out of similies this morning. These are from Enjoy:

Black Blanchette Dress. This is so Audrey Hepburn and for only $66! Quite a steal, from the look of the rest of their merchandise. Love the sweetheart neckline, and you can never go wrong with black. I would wear this with bright red heels, all the way.

Ella Dress. For obvious color reasons, I could never wear this dress. I got married and had to give up the color purple cold turkey. This is the priciest dress at $473, an amount I would never shell out on a dress that wasn't for a prom or my own wedding. However, the construction looks so precise. You'd definitely be locked and loaded in this number. Beats the hell out of me what kind of shoes would go well with this dress, though.

Maureen Dress. I'm not exactly sure what is going on with the bust in this dress, but it seems like it would look spectacular on someone who actually had a bust (*peeks into shirt...dammit*). I love the soft gray and the tiny sleeves, although I still wouldn't pay $385 for this dress, even if I would feel like a powerful corporate attorney or expensive dominatrix.
All of the above pieces are so lovely, I just had to add in something spectacularly ugly, just to round out the day. In some big city circle of haute couture critics, these are probably orgasm-worthy. But to me, they are just about the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my life ever ever ever. They look like my feet would sweat a lot and everyone around me would look up, wondering, "What's that awful smell?" Right before my ankle took a ninety-degree turn and I fell into some kind of open manhole.



Have a great weekend, everybody.


Kyle said...

I think you look great in everything...and not in anything *WINK* :)



My word verification was MortX, makes me think of Mort from Family Guy if he was pretending to be Malcolm X...just a side note...

Blind, Irish Pirate said...

... Your ass is not fat. Jeez!

Katherine said...

That is very debatable, especially compared to the skinny-minis at the bar. Maybe if I ever get back to my workout video (singular, one lone, sad workout video) I could fit into those dresses!