Be there, or be square

Are you free April 16 at 10 a.m.? I sure hope so, because our house is getting auctioned off at a sheriff's sale! Let me start at the beginning...

Husband and I returned home (erm...next door at his parents' where we currently reside) last night and noticed a note taped to the door of our house (erm...that place we just bought...this is going to get confusing). We waddled over and investigated. The previous owners were named as the proper recipients of the note which stated that a sheriff's auction would be taking place in mid-April for the sale of the house.

Apparently, the sheriff's department didn't get the memo (...or notice the "SOLD" sign in the front yard...). Husband made a few calls and is working to get everything cleared up, but I would be less than surprised if the bank we bought the home from dropped the ball and forgot to let everyone know that the house had already been sold last Friday. We can prove it! We've got the deed safely tucked away. They would have to pry it from our cold, dead fingers.

Meanwhile, the house might be trying to kill me. Spending more than ten minutes inside sends me into some kind of anaphylactic shock. Okay, we'll, maybe not that bad, but still. First, my eyes get scratchy, then I start to itch just beneath my throat. If I've actually made physical contact with anything in the house, there's a good chance some part of my body is turning red and welty. I can feel my lungs begin to close up and the wheezing commences. It's pretty hot, let me tell you.

I'm hopeful that once the carpet finally is removed and the walls have been washed that my problems will disappear. Otherwise, we're going to have to buy stock in Benadryl. I was in a sound coma last night by about 9:45. It's just drugs and sex and rock and roll over in our bedroom, believe you me.