Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday Fashion: Where did summer go?

I woke up this morning and suddenly came to the realization that summer is almost over. I know it doesn't officially end until September 23, but for me, when Labor Day passes, summer is done. I have no idea where our summer even went. I know we went to a few weddings. We grilled out once or twice. I wore shorts on several of the hottest of days (and I despise shorts). We ate fresh garden corn and juicy tomatoes. But summer just shouldn't be over yet.

In my past, summer has always included swimming, which I have not been able to do at all, due to lack of time and opportunity (having been warned against the local community pool). Aside from being forced to bear my jiggly, fleshy parts, I really enjoy swimming. Slathering on sunscreen, picking out a brightly colored towel, and working up a real appetite (not that I needed any help with that in the first place). I miss it. Therefore, today's Friday Fashion is devoted to my beloved pastime, which really did become a "past" time this summer.

I know how to keep my male readers comin' back for more.

Normally I am more of a two-piece kind of girl (if you're going to let it all hang out, might as well let it all hang out, right?), but this Juicy Couture Beach Shirred Halter One-Piece for $173 is too adorable for words. The ruching and tiny skirt would help accentuate my incredible, athletically-toned lower half while simultaneously dazzling onlookers with my traffic-stopping cleavage. Right? That's what I look like to everyone else, right? Or is that only me in my head...? If this didn't work out on my blobulous figure, I could always go for the burlap sack look.

If one is going to lay about soaking up the sun (which I discourage because of cancerwrinklesuglyagespots, by the way), you might as well get a super graphic beach towel to match your suit. This Marimekko Beach Towel from sells for 48 pounds. I don't know what that is in American money, because I'm way too lazy to look it up, but I'm guessing it's a lot since our current exchange rate reduces our dollars to roughly the value of small rocks and bits of dirt.

If you choose to take my advice, in order to avoid the aforementioned cancerwrinklesuglyagespots, one must invest in eye and skin protection. Safety can be chic, too! Observe these Sweetheart Sunglasses for $8 from Lulu's. Come on, they match the suit and towel! I think you can sacrifice a little bit of dignity in the name of adorable.

Speaking of protection, you will get a sound tongue lashing from moi if you frolic in the rays without sunblock. Lobster-colored skin does not look good on anybody (take it from a genetically inferior blond-haired, blue-eyed gal who belongs somewhere in the Cold North as opposed to the Humid Midwest). Suck it up and apply a little of this beautifully designed Shelter sunblock from Philosophy. And finally, you will need a place to stash your towel and horde of sun-deflecting goodies! How about this Love-Tree Wooden Handle Tote for $84 from littleoddforest? There's even pink piping. I'm so matchy-matchy today.

But don't take it from me. These ladies are the height of beach fashion, dont'cha know?

Keep it pasty, everybody.


Kyle said...

Very good post, even had a Family Guy clip in it :)

Katherine said...

I do what I can.