Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday Fashion: Sweat, baby, sweat

Most of my childhood recollections of exercise center around my mother and Richard Simmons. She sweated to the oldies for awhile, and then I think she came to her senses.

I was an exceptionally unathletic, uncoordinated child, preferring to live in my mind rather than through my body. When I joined the basketball team in the sixth grade (after being coerced by a friend), I didn't have to worry about sweating because I never left the bench long enough to work up anything (including self-esteem).

I continue to be an exceptionally unathletic and uncoordinated adult. However, I recently realized something: strangely, my lack of physical exertion has led to an exponential increase in the size of my ass.

So, I started shredding.

And I have not yet died. I'm only about a third of the way through, but already I've noticed that I can now wear corduroy pants without the constant fear of a fire being ignited between my thighs.

Since my shred takes place in the comfort of my home, I don't have to look gym chic, but I can certainly appreciate the encouraging power of fashion: Put on that adorable running gear and sweat, baby, sweat.I wish I could look this cute in my daily life, let alone just when I work out. I appreciate the dark brown pants to camouflage one's mass and the fun pattern to distract the eye from my flailing. Am Fitness Wear Supplex Lycra 2 Piece Set, $94.99.These Reebok Easy Tone shoes have intrigued me for awhile now. Could I really just walk around and have this pair of black magic shoes transform my hind-end into something significantly less jiggly? I've gotta say, my ultra-lazy, consumerist American attitude is telling me it's worth a try.If you're working up a sweat, you'd better replenish your fluids with something other than delicious, syrupy, sugary, heavenly pop. Try water from your faucet. Did you know that it is practically free? Crazy, huh? Husband and I actually own two Camelbak bottles each, one for work and one for home. We haven't purchased bottled water since. It's such a ridiculously simple change, yet it saves so much (money, plastic, and pulled muscles from dragging 32-bottle packages in from the car). $14.99 (and BPA-free!).If you are one of those crazies that prefers to get your exercise outside in nature, don't forget to protect yourself from the sun. I am not above tackling you to the ground in order to slather sunscreen on your exposed skin. But, don't forget to protect your eyes with something like these Raspberry Leather-Trimmed Metal Aviator Sunglasses, $250. It's possible to be chic and safe!Finally, you're going to need something to store all of this in. Try the Baroque Allrounder Duffle, $29.99 ($19.99 for the small). I am in love with this bag's pattern and shape. I totally bet I could fit an entire sheet cake in this thing...

2 comments:

Shay @ Wonderfully Chaotic said...

My Mom was a Richard fan too! I am also a unathletic, uncoordinated person who is not that fond of exercising - perhaps I just need to get some outfits to motivate me? ;) That one is super cute! And I really like that bag.
I do have the benefit of children who encourage me as I exercise, though - they sit on the floor, watch and say "Good job Mommy!" or more often than not "You look silly Mommy!" :)

blind irish pirate said...

:-D No matter what I wear or what I do, my ass will always stick out. I caught a glimpse of myself running past a window. Damn, my badonk is huge.

Um...

Anyway, LOVE the camelbacks. I think I need some aviators, too, so I can disguise myself more than anything.